Tell me who you really are

I recently had breakfast with someone I’m trying to build a strong relationship with. We’re very different and we have very different stories. The way that he lives his life is different than they way I live mine. His choices are made based off of different priorities than mine. He tells me that I’m doing things in the wrong way all the time. When he says things like “I know what that’s like” or “trust me I have been there”, he never tells me a story about it. I'm usually leaving these conversations guessing how it went.

On the flipside I had an amazing conversation with a pastor a couple weeks ago. We talked about our life stories and what makes us so passionate about ministry. It was encouraging to talk with someone who shared the same heartbeat as I do. His eyes watered up after sharing how the grace of Jesus changed his life forever. We were very vulnerable with each other. I felt like I could really trust him.

What are your conversations with Jesus like? Trust can be the biggest hindrance for us when it comes to experiencing the fullness of life that Jesus promises. Can Jesus be trusted? If you haven’t given him the chance to tell you his story then you may never know. Here are a couple things I have learned from my conversations with Jesus.

Conversation with Jesus helps build trust because he has experienced everything we have. No matter how much your heart has been broken his has been broken more. Whatever the degree of temptation or severity of brokenness you are dealing with, even in the face of innocence, Jesus has been there. Jesus has enough personal experiences that he could intimately connect with every person that ever lived. Jesus has a story that can change your life forever.

Conversation with Jesus helps build trust because Jesus knows everything about us. Because he knows everything about us he has the ability to speak to our hearts in the darkest places. It’s easy to think that someone as Holy as Jesus would never want to be around someone as twisted and messed up as you. By the way you’re welcome for the confidence boost. Prayer will change you because it proves that Jesus’ love is unconditional. Jesus knowing everything about you is a good thing and it draws you closer to him. It never pushes you further away from him.

Be honest with God and let His love bring you back to life.

Relationships can be amazing

My girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship. We both communicate with each other on a regular basis. We both share the same heartbeat for others. We both love kids and see our future being dedicated to investing in them. We share a similar past and we can relate to each other’s feelings. We have a strong connection and we are responsive to each other. We can look into each other’s eyes and be satisfied beyond our imagination. Our conversations are rich and we actually enjoy listening to each other speak. We are not perfect at all. I would even be comfortable saying that we have more problems than most people. The best part about all of this is that we have nothing to do with how this is working so well. This relationship has been organic in nature since day one. Our paths crossed and we just clicked.

I think that one reason our relationship is so good is because we know who we are. We have individual lives and we love the people God has shaped us into. We don’t expect very much from each other. Ten years ago this concept would have been crazy to me because relationships were all about being together. Girls would cling but never be satisfied and I would make demands but never got want I really wanted. After a couple of heartbreaks I realized that relationships are not about having attachments to people. Relationships are about being able to relate with someone that is not like you. Caring about the things you never cared about, learning the things you never thought you would learn, understanding the needs of someone you never expected to fulfill, relating and truly caring about someone no matter how different, these are the foundation to a good relationship. The best thing about us is that we can balance our lives individually and together. God has blessed us with an understanding that his grace is the source of our relationship and without it we would be drowning in a sea of unfulfilled expectations and demands.

I'm so thankful for Molly and how much she loves being God’s masterpiece. I love you babe ;)! 

Take it to the cross

As I was driving to work this morning I was thinking about something that's been bothering me for the past few months. I don't want to share what that particular thing is just yet. Regardless of what, it has been heavy on my heart. There are a few things you have to understand before any of this will make sense. This is a conflict between my perspective and the perspective of someone else. I feel like God wants me to do something and this person doesn't think I should do this thing. This person also has authority over me and I want to honor them but it conflicts with something I feel called to do. Trust me, this situation is much more complicated than my last statement but the detailed description will have to wait.

Anyway, back to this morning. As I was thinking about this in my car I started to have conversations with this person in my head. If you have done this before then you know what I'm talking about. It's one of the quickest ways to feel like you're right. These conversations involved me telling this person how I feel. We all know how that goes. I didn't just share how I felt. I let them have it. I pulled a few unkind words out of my vocabulary and I crafted my sentences in a way that I knew would cut deep. My blood would start pumping and I would start to grab the steering wheel so tight my knuckles would turn white.


The reality is that this is going to happen and probably very often too. We have to be very careful that we don't stay in these oneway conversations for very long. When we feed our ego like that we may actually believe that we know what's best. 


Then I had one of those moments. If you had one you know what I'm talking about. I felt a little crazy for getting all worked up over something I can't control. I remembered a scripture verse I read yesterday. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"declares the Lord. Isaiah 55.8. I began to realize that these feelings and thoughts were not coming from a good place. My thoughts were not God's thoughts and my perspective was definitely not God's perspective. They were actually creating a situation that didn't really exist.  


I realized that most important thing in our relationship with God is trust. I realized that I have no idea what's going on outside of my own thoughts and my own perceptions. I also remembered an illustration that Jesus shared with a large crowd of people. He told them that if you are at the altar about to give a sacrifice and you remember that you have something against your brother or your brother has something against you. Then you are to drop everything and immediately go and attempt to restore that broken relationship before you can worship God properly.


It's true that I don't understand the motives of this other person. It's true that my first priority as a Christian is to love unconditionally. It's true that its all difficult to understand at times. It's still true that God is calling me to make this decision. 

So I don't know what's next but I am going to talk with this person one more time. In the meantime I will  offer my thoughts and my perspectives on my life and how it should go to Jesus. I will worship him for what he has done on the cross. Today I will swim in the ocean of his grace.

My prayer,
Jesus, I don't want to be angry with my brother. I don't want to live my life trying to prove that I know what's best. I want to live my life with ruthless trust in your love for me and for this other person. I know you are calling me to do something and I pray that it does not get in the way of my love for this other person and your love for me. Amen.