Here comes the Bride

I'm 11 days away from watching my bride walk down one of the most expensive pieces of fabric I will ever rent. It sounds crazy but I bought an extra toothbrush to keep by my bathroom sink so I could be reminded when I brush my teeth that all the little things I'm used to are about to change. In our first 6 months to a year my knowledge of Molly is going to increase so much more than I can imagine. I'm going to find out things like if she puts her bath towel in the hamper after one use or hangs it up in the bathroom for multiple uses like me. Over the years I will learn all of her idiosyncrasies and she will learn all of mine. I have no idea what's going to happen but I'm so excited because I'm not afraid. The changes I'm going to go through are going to be worth it because she means that much to me and she means even more to Jesus. So no matter how difficult some of our struggles may be we have hope and we believe in God's plan for our lives.

Unfortunately, Molly (my fiance) and I, like most people, have had a rough journey through life. We both come from homes built on a foundation of fear. We both stumbled through life by making multiple bad decisions, following our misguided emotions and for us hope was that dream you have a hard time remembering when you wake up. Eventually we hit the ground so hard there was nowhere else to look but up. We started following Jesus in our later teen years. I was 17 in 2003 and she was 19 in 2007. Before we were Christians we never thought we would be getting married. Jesus changed our perspective on love and through the Holy Spirit we understood the true meaning of our existence. To be loved and to love others. My life experiences and my relationship with Jesus have taught me that marriage is about loving your wife like Christ loves the church.

Our scars remind us of the journey that brought us both to this point. Our goal is that our marriage will continue to represent how Jesus takes something broken and makes it into something beautiful. The thing that makes us feel most loved is God's endless and unconditional pursuit for our hearts. Not having money, loosing jobs, physical illness, and even death is no longer something to be afraid of. We know that our home is not going to be built on the conditions our world puts on us. It will be built on the unfailing love of Jesus Christ.


1 John 4:16-19

"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

   God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first."

Tell me who you really are

I recently had breakfast with someone I’m trying to build a strong relationship with. We’re very different and we have very different stories. The way that he lives his life is different than they way I live mine. His choices are made based off of different priorities than mine. He tells me that I’m doing things in the wrong way all the time. When he says things like “I know what that’s like” or “trust me I have been there”, he never tells me a story about it. I'm usually leaving these conversations guessing how it went.

On the flipside I had an amazing conversation with a pastor a couple weeks ago. We talked about our life stories and what makes us so passionate about ministry. It was encouraging to talk with someone who shared the same heartbeat as I do. His eyes watered up after sharing how the grace of Jesus changed his life forever. We were very vulnerable with each other. I felt like I could really trust him.

What are your conversations with Jesus like? Trust can be the biggest hindrance for us when it comes to experiencing the fullness of life that Jesus promises. Can Jesus be trusted? If you haven’t given him the chance to tell you his story then you may never know. Here are a couple things I have learned from my conversations with Jesus.

Conversation with Jesus helps build trust because he has experienced everything we have. No matter how much your heart has been broken his has been broken more. Whatever the degree of temptation or severity of brokenness you are dealing with, even in the face of innocence, Jesus has been there. Jesus has enough personal experiences that he could intimately connect with every person that ever lived. Jesus has a story that can change your life forever.

Conversation with Jesus helps build trust because Jesus knows everything about us. Because he knows everything about us he has the ability to speak to our hearts in the darkest places. It’s easy to think that someone as Holy as Jesus would never want to be around someone as twisted and messed up as you. By the way you’re welcome for the confidence boost. Prayer will change you because it proves that Jesus’ love is unconditional. Jesus knowing everything about you is a good thing and it draws you closer to him. It never pushes you further away from him.

Be honest with God and let His love bring you back to life.

Molly and Dan get engaged

Last night was amazing. After five months of finding God's time for this I finally got down on one knee. After 5 months of thinking this over I would say I was confident in my game plan. It all unfolded last night as we showed up to community group at 7:45pm. Every Wednesday night Molly usually drives to my place and we hang out before we go to community group together. Molly claimed I was acting strange but she had no clue. As we approach a sign on the front door that said "come in" Molly still didn't catch on. As we walked into a dark foyer she started to stutter step. They hit the lights as she enters the house and there are 20 of our closest friends standing around her. 16 of them were on the staircase.

Watch this video to see the rest.

Also, the signs that everyone is putting over Molly's head all signify something special about our relationship.

Once again... it was all so perfect. Thanks everyone. :) 

Relationships can be amazing

My girlfriend and I have an amazing relationship. We both communicate with each other on a regular basis. We both share the same heartbeat for others. We both love kids and see our future being dedicated to investing in them. We share a similar past and we can relate to each other’s feelings. We have a strong connection and we are responsive to each other. We can look into each other’s eyes and be satisfied beyond our imagination. Our conversations are rich and we actually enjoy listening to each other speak. We are not perfect at all. I would even be comfortable saying that we have more problems than most people. The best part about all of this is that we have nothing to do with how this is working so well. This relationship has been organic in nature since day one. Our paths crossed and we just clicked.

I think that one reason our relationship is so good is because we know who we are. We have individual lives and we love the people God has shaped us into. We don’t expect very much from each other. Ten years ago this concept would have been crazy to me because relationships were all about being together. Girls would cling but never be satisfied and I would make demands but never got want I really wanted. After a couple of heartbreaks I realized that relationships are not about having attachments to people. Relationships are about being able to relate with someone that is not like you. Caring about the things you never cared about, learning the things you never thought you would learn, understanding the needs of someone you never expected to fulfill, relating and truly caring about someone no matter how different, these are the foundation to a good relationship. The best thing about us is that we can balance our lives individually and together. God has blessed us with an understanding that his grace is the source of our relationship and without it we would be drowning in a sea of unfulfilled expectations and demands.

I'm so thankful for Molly and how much she loves being God’s masterpiece. I love you babe ;)! 

Jesus... a true elder brother

I'm studying the parable of the lost son (Luke15) and it has been extremely eye opening. Most people read this parable and focus on the younger son. After doing some research and reading Timothy Keller's book "Prodigal God" I have come to the realization that Jesus is also focusing on the elder son as well.

The parable is a beautiful representation of God's unconditional love for us when looked at through the eyes of the younger son. He basically tells his Dad that he is dead to him. So he takes his life savings and runs away to party hard in Vegas. Then he hits rock bottom. After wasting all his money he starts drooling over what pigs get to eat. I bet the disillusion of the statement "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" really started to sink in at this point. I can't imagine how much he longed for what he gave up... the love of his Daddy. Thus begins the writing of his apology speech and his repayment plan so he can come home. You know how the story goes. The way the father responds to the younger brother really puts substance to 2 Peter 3:9. The God that so loved the world always patiently waits to embrace his lost son's and daughter's once again. God doesn't only celebrate the return of his children he longs for it with every ounce of himself.

Then we read that the elder son is jealous of the younger son. Some of you know exactly how it feels to be the elder brother. In our culture working really hard to earn what you receive is the norm. Nothing is free. At least that's what my parents told me. So it seems like he got screwed right? In this story the elder brother's character was meant to engage the Pharisees and Religious leaders that were listening to Jesus. They were probably upset that the elder brother was getting the shaft. In the eyes of the listeners the elder son should be rewarded for his loyalty and dedication to the father. He did what he was suppose to do.

What I learned is that both sons have something in common. They share the same experience of walking out on their father. Both of them alienate themselves from the father. Both's sons were concerned with their inheritance and the plans they had. But only one son understood his lostness and repented.

Why doesn't Jesus share the resolution for the elder son? I honestly don't know the answer to that question. Maybe Jesus left the story unfinished because he knew telling the proper ending through a teaching wouldn't be enough. Why? The story needs to become "flesh". Jesus knew that he needed to level the playing field for all the younger and elder brothers in this world. Maybe Jesus decided to show them instead of tell them. We can try as hard as we want but we can never be a true elder brother. Jesus is the only true elder brother. A true elder brother will give up anything to please the Father because he trusts in his love. As Jesus is hanging on the cross he utters his last words "It is finished".

Jesus made something very clear to me through this parable. God's grace has leveled the playing field. Everyone is invited to the party! "There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."

God is always with you

The Psalms are great. I think that's why I love reading them so much. I read some of them and get comforted by the poetic descriptions of God's goodness and love. David's uncut journals about abandonment and shame encourage me to push through my own hurts and hang ups. The Psalms that talk about God's wrath being poured out on David's enemies paint a picture of God's Holiness. 


Psalm 139 is one of my favorites. David teaches us that we are never alone and that God will never abandon us. We also read about this in Deuteronomy 31:6&8. 


So the question I'm interested in answering is why? If this is true and God is always with us then why does it seem that there are specific moments in life in which it feels like God is far away?  


I'm going to make a suggestion. There are two myths out there that we tend to fall for every time.


Myth 1-We think God leaves us alone because others have.
Maybe you've felt abandoned by others. I remember when my dad died. I felt extremely alone and I asked God for help but I never felt like he was there. I tried to look to my family for help but my mom would say things that made me so mad (my parents got divorced). She wasn't going to step up to help. It felt like I was the only one left in my family to take care of my little sister. Dad was so close to both of us and we were hurting bad. The people that abandoned me in life were the people that were always supposed to be there for me. If they wouldn't help me why would God want to help me?


Myth 2-We think God leaves us alone because of our mistakes.
The truth is that every time I would do something I knew God wouldn't approve of it felt like he was off in some other galaxy. God always seemed distant from me during and immediately after my sin. I just figured God was far away from me because I was always sinning. At one point I felt like God would never want to be around the man I was. Because I felt that way I figured he was never there. Our feelings and/or decisions don't determine if God is with us or not.


The truth is that nothing will ever separate you from the love of God.


Rom 8:38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.


Maybe the key to understanding if God is with you doesn't depend on him alone. God is there and he is ready to be with you. When was the last time that you looked for him? In our culture its so easy to be self-relient. God is always with you but you need to rely on him. He wont force the relationship on you. He also never leaves because he knows how much you need him. 


Are there any areas in life that you are treading alone? When do you feel most alone? Know that God is with you.

adding hours to your life

So here I go again. Another day and another opportunity. I'm trying to start my day off on the right foot. I learned some great stuff in my small group last night that would be great to apply as I progress throughout my day. Last night we read the Matthew 6.25-34 passage and discussed what Jesus was trying to teach his followers about worry. As I type this post I already feel the worry starting to creep up on me. The possibility that I wont have enough time to get all of my other tasks for today accomplished if I spend too much time writing this concerns me. That concern I have is not a bad thing. When those concerns start to consume me to the point that I am less productive and my hope for accomplishing those tasks starts to decrease, then I have crossed over the line from concern to worry.

So here are a few of my thoughts for this morning "concerning" my worries.

Priorities
If I prioritize my responsibilities I can gradually work at seeing them get accomplished. Not everything is going to get done today. I do have things that need done today and I know that there is something I can do to accomplish those things. Spending too much time being concerned about what the result of my task will be can cause me to worry. Everyone is afraid to fail so I shouldn't feel abnormal because of that. Being concerned is a great thing because it helps me feel more responsibility for getting my goals accomplished. Being consumed by the results can decrease my effectiveness in getting my tasks done.

Process
If I am honest with myself I will understand that I can't perfectly accomplish all my tasks today. If I truly love what I do I will never be satisfied until it is being done in the best way possible. So I will leave space in my spirit for mistakes to help me grow. If things are not perfected today there will be another chance tomorrow. I will always be able to play a part in the process of "perfecting" my tasks.

Humility
I need to be humble enough to admit when I don't know how to accomplish my tasks. If I ask questions to figure out how to do something I am struggling with I may save myself hours of trying to figure it out. If I need to learn how to do it anyway why not ask someone who knows how?

Love
I want to love my job today. Some of the things I do may not be ideal or even enjoyable but they always help me learn more about myself and what I'm made to do. I know there will always be tasks that I have to accomplish no matter how much I hate doing them. But those tasks should never be the majority of what I am spending time on. If they are then I am wasting my time because I'm in the wrong profession. I am always being shaped to love what I do and/or do what I love. I will not worry if what I am doing today isn't the perfect job for me.

"Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" -Matt 6.27

"Therefor do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matt 6.34

  

The mystery of God's love

I am in a local Starbucks and I'm posted up in this big comfy seat getting ready to study. I look across from me and I noticed this binder labeled Apologetics laying on the table next to this guy. So I discretely investigated a little further. Well I guess yelling out "hey! do you teach Apologetics?" would have been more discrete if everyone in the place didn't turn their head and look.  What can I say, I'm a classy guy. Despite my awkward introduction we were able to strike up some really great conversation. One of the things we talked about was teaching scripture. He teaches at a local Seminary in town. We both agreed that how we teach the scripture today is dangerously far from the way Jesus taught scripture.

Pastors generally tell great stories but we fail to contextualize the mysteries of Heaven. The mystery of the Gospel is found in the "why" not the "how". Why love bloodied itself for the redemption of an unworthy human race is a mystery. When the Gospel gets presented in its truest form the listener will thirst for it to have personal substance. 

The focus of our teachings can't be about how to prevent a screwed up life. We miss the point when we make behavior modification our focus. Jesus didn't teach the 3 steps to spiritual success because it comes with a condition. Intimacy in relationships comes from unconditional love. Love that looks you in the eye in the middle of your lowest moment and shows no reservation. I believe that Jesus always has and always will look at us with glossy eyes. He is divine and human, man and God. He knows all and he forgives all.

The way that we should teach is the way that Jesus taught. It's the most effective way to invite someone into the mystery that is eternity. The Parables were always about raising more questions than giving answers. I think we need to rip out a page from the Bible (is that legal?) and craft teachings that inspire the listener to pursue the mystery of love. The same love that is at the heart of the Holy Trinity. 

Colossians 1

 ¹⁵ Christ is the visible image of the invisible God.
      He existed before anything was created and is supreme over all creation,^[e]
 16 for through him God created everything
      in the heavenly realms and on earth.
   He made the things we can see
      and the things we can’t see—
   such as thrones, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities in the unseen world.
      Everything was created through him and for him.
 ¹⁷ He existed before anything else,
      and he holds all creation together.
 ¹⁸ Christ is also the head of the church,
      which is his body.
   He is the beginning,
      supreme over all who rise from the dead.^[f]
      So he is first in everything.
 ¹⁹ For God in all his fullness
      was pleased to live in Christ,
 ²⁰ and through him God reconciled
      everything to himself.
   He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth
      by means of Christ’s blood on the cross.

I'm not a Christian but I love coming.

I'm a Middle School Youth Pastor. During one of my lessons last Spring I shared a story about a student in a youth ministry I used to lead. He was outspoken about not following Jesus. He would continue to come out to youth group and listen to me talk about God despite his strong conviction that he wasn’t a Christian. There was nothing extremely special about this story but it got the point across that night.

As I finished my lesson and the kids started to disperse to their small groups a 6th grade girl came up to me with watery eyes.

Without taking a breath she said, “IreallylikeyourstoryaboutChrisbecauseI’mnotaChristian, andmyfamilyisnotChristian, butIlovecominghere.” (exhale)

For a few moments we just looked at each other smiling. In that moment my heart was full. This is the type of environment we strive so hard to create for our Middle School students. I told her that I love having her come out and encouraged her to talk to her small group leader about what it means to be a Christian.

As she skipped away to meet up with her small group I thought to myself “Everything I have ever done in the name of Jesus is all worth it for that one student”. May you, as youth workers, be encouraged by the desire that Jesus gives us to love and serve these students.

Take off your shoes and worship with hearts full of joy, you are standing on Holy ground.