On Sunday morning, as I was walking around our youth building, I walked by the main entrance and noticed a student standing in a corner just outside of our doors. It looked like he was crying by the way he was covering his face. Before I could make it outside to see if he was OK he started to run away. I noticed his mother was headed my way. Even though he continued to run off in the distance his mother didn't seem concerned. She started to explain that he was upset because of his haircut. He was embarrassed and he didn’t want any of his friends to see him. I could completely understand why he was upset. This was a student that had the type of hair that just looks like it belongs over his eyes. His mother continued to tell me with a little hesitation in her voice... "it was my idea". She said she was worried that he would look like a hoodlum with long hair. “I don’t want people to get the wrong impression about who he is” she exclaimed.
I was holding back laughter because I could still see her son in the distance behind her. He was running around the church campus like a chicken with his head cut off. He had no clue where he was going. He just wanted to run. First he ran out to the side of the parking lot along the main road. Then he started to run up towards the main church building, which was about 200 yards away from the Student Center. I could tell he was upset by the amount of locked doors around the church he tried to rip open, only to get disappointed when the doors didn't budge. He must have tried 3 sets of doors before he found an open one.
According to Erik Erickson’s Psychosocial Development Theory during adolescence the “Ego Crisis” consist of “Identity vs. Role Confusion”. It could be a haircut, a type of music, or a way of dressing. Middle School students will want to make decisions on their own about their identity. This could mean a specific hair style. We should probably be letting them make decisions on their own. We don't have to give up our role of protecting them. We definitely shouldn't stop teaching them what it means to follow Jesus. My advice for this parent would be to start letting go of the decision making process.
After his mother left I was reminded of some facts that will never change about my job. Students will never stop running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We shouldn't be trying to figure out what we can do to prevent this. Maybe we should try to figure out how to help them find their heads during these crazy years of their lives. Middle school is a crazy time that will eventually end. If you can learn to navigate these years well your students will be fine.
