Silly fortune cookie, that's a proverb

As I was getting out of my wife’s car this morning I noticed she saved one of those little piece’s of papers you get from a fortune cookie. It was in the driver’s side door. You know, that little compartment you can only fit a couple gum wrappers and a pen cap in. It said, “Always trust your gut instinct but never believe that it's enough.” This caught my attention because I'm in the middle of making a big decision at work.

There is no doubt that as a leader you’ll have to step up to the plate and make decisions, hopefully good decisions that keep your organization growing and moving in the right direction. I love my job and I get really excited about the possibility that Jesus is going to use our ministry to change the lives of middle school students. So if you’re like me you cringe at the thought of making a decision that could cause a set back or keep your organization from seeing it’s vision become a reality.

In my job big decisions need to be made on a regular basis. When it comes to my gut instinct the art of collaboration has spared me from making some very unnecessary mistakes. Here are a couple things I learned that could be helpful when pursuing gut instincts in the decision making process.

Collaboration helps communication.

Have you ever been convinced that you have the perfect story to share with a group of people in order for them to understand a specific concept? Then you stand up on stage and you start to tell your story but it sounds nothing like it did in your head and at the part of the story that you thought would be the highlight people just look really confused. I think we all agree that we should have tried to share that story with someone over coffee before we went with our first gut instinct and assumed it would sound great. When you run your ideas by others and talk things out you’re training yourself on how to best communicate what you’re trying to do. Don’t be afraid of others giving you a better illustration, you were just spared from looking like a tool. Never forget that it’s not about you!

Collaboration helps produce a better product.

If you think that a gut feeling is enough to make a decision you could be setting yourself up for failure. If you’re not including the people in the trenches, the ones that make things happen, you miss out on an opportunity to sharpen your ideas and develop a better product.

Collaboration can make your product easier to produce.

When you collaborate people will help you make your ideas become a reality. Just think of all the untapped resources out there. Find the people that are just as passionate about your ideas as you are. Let them help you!

Collaboration gains more support for your product.

When people feel like they are part of making it happen they own it. It’s the difference between renting a house and owning a house. If you want your team to take care of the house like they own it then you should collaborate more often. Rent money disappears but a mortgage is an investment towards ownership. Let the people that care about your ministry/organization just as much as you do give their time and resources towards something they want to invest in. Your organization will thrive with a team of owners! 

youthpastor.in.transit

I'm a youth pastor and I'm currently in my second transition. I left my first position as a full-time paid intern because the 2 year contract I signed was up. I consider this a legit position because I was leading and giving oversight to the high school ministry at one of the church's multisite campuses. At the end of my contract a position was available for full-time but I didn't get hired for it. It was clear to me, after I had a number of discussions with leadership, that this decision was hard for them. I respect them for putting in the prayer and making a challenging call.

This time around my transition is much different. I was hired as a full-time middle school director. Not many churches have the resources to hire a full-time position for middle school so this gives you an idea of my current church's size. After 1 year here I felt a strong call from God that my time was coming to an end. This transition is extremely difficult because I need to respond to God's call and make the hard decision this time.

There are a lot of things we have to navigate when transitioning out of our positions. Here are some thoughts from a youth pastor in transition.

Leaving is hard

Leaving a position as a youth pastor can be extremely difficult. When working with students the investment is much more than pizza parties and chaperoning. In some cases we watch our students grow up from being hand fed spiritual milk to feeding themselves on a daily basis. Putting the growth of your current students into someone else's hands can feel like you are abandoning them. The highly relational nature of what youth pastors do always makes this process tough. Don’t try and make it easy. Let it be hard. Be honest with students about your concerns and use this as a teachable moment. Create messages in your last weeks about student leadership and challenge them to trust God with their future. Redeem this difficult moment into something full of Jesus, hope, and renewal.  

How do you leave?

I know that I have to do everything I can to help my students see that this decision is a calling. Before you leave over communicate that it’s not because of something the students did. Reinforce your love for the students and faith in God.

Leaving is an opportunity to cast vision for the future and empower others for ministry. If a leader has lead well then the transition should produce fruit. Good leaders have other very capable leaders under them that can sustain the responsibilities of the ministry until a permanent replacement is found. If you have been slacking on the investment you made in leaders it will show here. Make sure to invest in the leaders without asking them to do your job or the next guys job.

DO NOT THROW A PITTY PARTY! 
There is nothing worse than making this transition about us. God didn’t call us to ministry because we’re special. God has a plan for students regardless of who the leader is. We must make it a priority to help the students and the staff see our hope and faith in God. Encourage them in their faith and what God has planned for them. People may want to throw a pity party for you but those parties have to be crashed with hope and positive reinforcement.   

We are not in control of how people react
Sometimes people can be the driving force behind why we do what we do. We love the students God has put under our care. It’s obvious that we have invested in them with our blood, sweat, and tears. In my case that is literally true. We have to be prepared for any responses that may come from others. Sometimes the responses from students can be hurtful. If we have done the hard work of following Jesus then we know our decision, although it’s a good decision, may not make sense to a lot of people. We have to be understanding and display the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. We are in control of how we respond. Create space so that you have extra time to respond to what’s going on rather than react in the chaos. Always communicate truth with grace.

           

Fight the temptation to check out early

God has called us to ministry for a reason. We have been given a responsibility to take care of those students. Have faith that God will take care of things like, where you will move to, and how this will affect finances. We will rarely get disappointed by doing our best and taking it one step at a time. It seems impossible to give your best if you are focused on yourself and not God. Keep your eyes on the work at hand. God will prepare the next place for you. 

Prayer and fasting

This spiritual discipline is one of the few things that Jesus actually commands us to do. We learn from Jesus that going away to pray and fast builds a stronger relationship with God. (Mark 1:35) Prayer and fasting is an act of surrender and respect, it's an invitation into the heart, and it's an offering of our will to be directed by God, it provides new discovery and opportunities. Without it we fight for air as the waves toss us around in a sea of fear and anxiety. I know this may sound like an obvious thing for a Christ follower to do but the truth is that prayer and fasting should be a regular part of our lives. Make sure you pray and you fast about this extremely important change in your life and the lives of those around you.

Thanks for reading my blog.
Are you in transition? I would love feedback. Thanks!

Take it to the cross

As I was driving to work this morning I was thinking about something that's been bothering me for the past few months. I don't want to share what that particular thing is just yet. Regardless of what, it has been heavy on my heart. There are a few things you have to understand before any of this will make sense. This is a conflict between my perspective and the perspective of someone else. I feel like God wants me to do something and this person doesn't think I should do this thing. This person also has authority over me and I want to honor them but it conflicts with something I feel called to do. Trust me, this situation is much more complicated than my last statement but the detailed description will have to wait.

Anyway, back to this morning. As I was thinking about this in my car I started to have conversations with this person in my head. If you have done this before then you know what I'm talking about. It's one of the quickest ways to feel like you're right. These conversations involved me telling this person how I feel. We all know how that goes. I didn't just share how I felt. I let them have it. I pulled a few unkind words out of my vocabulary and I crafted my sentences in a way that I knew would cut deep. My blood would start pumping and I would start to grab the steering wheel so tight my knuckles would turn white.


The reality is that this is going to happen and probably very often too. We have to be very careful that we don't stay in these oneway conversations for very long. When we feed our ego like that we may actually believe that we know what's best. 


Then I had one of those moments. If you had one you know what I'm talking about. I felt a little crazy for getting all worked up over something I can't control. I remembered a scripture verse I read yesterday. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,"declares the Lord. Isaiah 55.8. I began to realize that these feelings and thoughts were not coming from a good place. My thoughts were not God's thoughts and my perspective was definitely not God's perspective. They were actually creating a situation that didn't really exist.  


I realized that most important thing in our relationship with God is trust. I realized that I have no idea what's going on outside of my own thoughts and my own perceptions. I also remembered an illustration that Jesus shared with a large crowd of people. He told them that if you are at the altar about to give a sacrifice and you remember that you have something against your brother or your brother has something against you. Then you are to drop everything and immediately go and attempt to restore that broken relationship before you can worship God properly.


It's true that I don't understand the motives of this other person. It's true that my first priority as a Christian is to love unconditionally. It's true that its all difficult to understand at times. It's still true that God is calling me to make this decision. 

So I don't know what's next but I am going to talk with this person one more time. In the meantime I will  offer my thoughts and my perspectives on my life and how it should go to Jesus. I will worship him for what he has done on the cross. Today I will swim in the ocean of his grace.

My prayer,
Jesus, I don't want to be angry with my brother. I don't want to live my life trying to prove that I know what's best. I want to live my life with ruthless trust in your love for me and for this other person. I know you are calling me to do something and I pray that it does not get in the way of my love for this other person and your love for me. Amen.